Why I Chose a Homebirth with a Midwife

Almost four years ago when I was pregnant with Avery, I wrote a post about the five reasons why I was "going" to have a homebirth with a midwife. Fast forward 4 years and now I've had two home births, first with Avery, then with Mila and I continue to believe birthing at home was the best option for ME. In case you're wondering, we're done having kids so before I threw in the towel of the topic of pregnancy and birth I had to do one final post in honor of homebirths.

So whether you are a die-hard hospital fan, or on the fence about where to give birth, or maybe even a fellow homebirthing mama, today I will share with you my top eight  reasons as to why I chose a homebirth with a midwife.  Now if you are not a homebirth fan, that's okay too. I'm not trying to persuade anyone to choose the same as I did, I just want to share what my experience was like to hopefully help others who want to learn more.

About Midwives
Before we begin, let me give you a rundown of what it's like to have a homebirth with a midwife. My midwife takes the place of a traditional obstetrician, and my specific midwife does homebirths. Midwives view pregnancy and birth as a normal process of life, not as though there is something wrong with you that they need to “fix”. They simply support and monitor women during their pregnancy, labors, and births among other things. So for both of my pregnancies, my midwife Lisa from Awakened Birthing, did all of my prenatal visits in my home, when I went into labor, I labored here at home, and when it was time, she came over, helped us deliever both girls, and then she came over for several postpartum visits as well. Her services (which included all of the visits above) cost around $3,000 which was not covered by insurance. We paid this out of pocket, but when you figure the cost of co-pays for office visits, and then the cost of a c-section or natural birth at a hospital, I'm sure they are somewhat close in cost. And even if our home visit was more expensive, I would gladly pay that money to have the experience I did with both my homebirths.

With Lisa my midwife shortly after Avery was born.

When you think of the word midwife some people have this image of some old lady coming to a birth with a towel and a bunch of snake oils to treat the mom and baby. When in reality, they are very well trained and prepared medical professionals. My midwife came to me with a number of qualifications and training. She also has a list of “Transfer Criteria”  which laid out in detail anything that might come up during my pregnancy, the labor, or with the baby that may cause for us to transfer to a hospital…a common question that was often asked of me. Granted there are some women out there that are considered “high-risk” and their circumstances are such to where they need to be at a hospital. But for about 80% of pregnant women, who are considered low-risk, why get treated as though we are sick or at risk?

With our amazing midwife Lisa and the two girls she helped me give birth to.

With each prenatal appointment, my midwife tracked my progress, checked my vitals, and the baby, and went over a number of health questions with me. If at any time she were to see something that signaled a complication, we would then discuss the possibility of moving the birth and the remainder of my prenatal care to a setting that would more appropriately support it. But since nothing did ever come up, we were able to stay here at home for both births.

Showing me how to feel where Avery
is positioned.

One of my favorite aspects of using a midwife was the prenatal visits nearly all of which took place on the couch in my living room.  Usually we spend the first 30 to 40 minutes of our appointment chatting, and then it's time to check the baby! We checked their position, their growth, and their heartbeat with a doppler (my favorite part). And although I don't have any pictures here, you can see in the video that these prenatal visits became even more memorable once Avery was here and I was pregnant with Mila because she got to be a part of them. She would help feel where Mila was or help measure my belly. I loved having her around it all.

Using the doppler to hear Avery's
heartbeat.

Pain
Now I didn't always feel this strongly about natrual childbirth and homebirths. When I was in my teens, we had to watch birthing videos in a "Family and Realtionships" class I was in and it was at that time that I swore I wanted to be "put to sleep," have the baby taken out, then I would wake up. Mainly it was the impression put forth by the media of how PAINFUL childbirth is that scared me to death...so much so that I wanted to numb myself from it completely. 

But a year before Brandon and I started trying to get pregnant, I beegan to research (like I do for most big life events or just everyday things) what pregnancy, birth, and taking care of a newborn was like. Two of the most influental books and documentaries I read/saw were: The Business of Being Born and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Both of those opened my eyes to the idea that birth was something to felt and experienced, not numbed and or blocked out.

I saw and read about women in the book and documentary that were having these births at home and at birth centers and although I could tell they were in pain, they viewed it completely differently. They saw it as part of the process, something that came with the territory. They used unique methods to work through their contractions and instead of being in a hospital, some were in their own beds with just their husband and their midwife, something about that clicked with me and I knew that's what I wanted to do with both of my births.

Now that you know some of the basics of using a midwife, here’s my Top 8 Reasons Why I Chose a Homebirth with a Midwife: 

No time for the video? Here's a list of my reasons:

1. Less stress. Hospitals and doctor offices stress me out. Maybe it’s the sounds, smells, and formal-ness of it all, but all I know is that I don’t like it. Even back before I was pregnant, I would stress out about going to the doctor, even if it was just for my annual checkup. So when it came time to think about my prenatal care and my baby’s birth, I knew I’d be most comfortable outside of the hospital. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of a more relaxing place than my own house.

Now after reading this book, Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth, I had a whole new reason to feel relaxed during my labor and birth, it’s because of something called “Sphincter Law”- which is the idea that your cervix is like a sphincter, the same kind that you use when you urinate or have a bowel movement. Can you imagine doing either of those things in a setting other than a private room where you feel at ease and stress-free? I know I couldn’t!

My favorite thing she says, “If you can’t poop and have a whole group of people watching you, it might be a bit difficult to have a baby in that same atmosphere.” I can’t even imagine being spread eagle and naked on a hospital bed with various doctors, nurses, and interns filtering in and out… there’s no way this sphincter of mine would open one bit! Ina May says that sphincter’s are shy, and if the owner is scared, they will close right up…exactly the thing you don’t want your cervix to do when you are trying to have a baby! So how do you avoid that? Go where you’re comfortable, relaxed, and your sphincter feels safe. For me, that place is at home.

2. Choices- For a long time I thought that when you have a baby you just have to go with the system in place and hope it works out for you. Little did I know… you can take control of your birth and choose exactly what it is you want. After watching dozens of birth videos on YouTube and reading several birth books, I started developing several strong preferences for the kind of birth I wanted to have. Some were: to try birthing in water (this birthing tub is what I used for Avery's birth), have dim lights, quiet voices, relaxing music, as few people present as possible, to wear my own clothes and not a hospital gown, the freedom to move around wherever I wanted…whenever I wanted, and uninterrupted bonding time right after birth, just to name a few. Pretty lofty goals and ideas right? Yes, maybe if I wanted all this to take place at a hospital, but change the setting to my house and it all becomes a little bit more realistic.

This is where Avery's birth took place, in her actual room. Dim light,
birthing tub, relaxing music...check, check, check!

3. Having my choices honored. Clearly if I felt passionate enough about some of my choices for my labor and birth, I defiantly wanted those choices to be honored. But I wasn't sure how much of a guarantee I would have of them all happening if I was at a hospital. I'm sure some of you have had hospital births where you've had all your choices honored and supported, but I've also heard from others who have had their birth plans thrown out the window by a mean nurse or demanding doctor. But with a homebirth I only had two people to worry about: my husband and my midwife and I trusted that they would honor my choices as best they could as long it was in the best interest of myself and my baby. 

4. Safer. While most people may think a hospital is the safest place to have a baby, I disagree because my home is cleaner than a hospital, not because I am a super-green cleaner, lol, but because my baby and I have already been exposed to all the germs currently present in my home, thus decreasing the risk of infection. Put me in the hospital where there are diseases, viruses, parasites, you name it…and no matter how many chemicals they use to kill all those germs, there’s no telling if they got them all. I just feel better staying out there in the first place. Even better, I can be as green as I want- no toxic cleaners, soaps, lotions, and other products I use.

5. Avoiding the Cascade of Interventions. This ties right into the “safety discussion” I had above, in how I also feel safer having my baby at home because the chances of me being given common labor drugs like Pitocin, having an epidural, or having c-section are greatly reduced. Granted if those are all things that you want to have, by all means…go to the hospital. But, for me personally, I want to have my baby as naturally as possible, so drugs and major abdominal surgery are out of the question for me. Now if an emergency were to  have come up and I had to have these things for my health, or to help my babies, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I preferred going into the labor as optimistically as possible and not seeing these things as an inevitable part of the process.

One of the main reasons, I have higher chances of avoiding this cascade of interventions is that there is much less pressure to “make progress” when I’m at home, as compared to being at a hospital on their time schedule. “What! You’re only at 4 centimeters dilated?! It’s been 7 hours…we better start you on some Pitocin to speed things along!” Those were not conversations that occurred at my births.  Oh and it probably helped to not have the anesthesiologist popping by every hour, seeing if I am ready for my epidural yet! By being at home the pressure if off to make those choices unless they become medically necessary and for me they never did.

6. No pressure to have the baby by my due date.  This was one of the biggest lessons I learned in my births and that was to TRUST MY BODY!  From the beginning, my midwife reassured me that my due dates are not set in stone, they are just windows of time from which the baby could be born before or after. She explained that certain women have longer cycles and others have shorter cycles so their due dates may be off by a few days. And even more, everyone is different!

Avery ended up being 11 days late and Mila was only a week (after being given the due date at the ultrasound I self-adjusted the due date because I knew my cycle is longer than most and so Mila would most likely be later as well).  Don't get me wrong, during the time I was waiting for Avery specifically I remember a flood of emotions, "What if she doesn't come out? Do I have to go to the hospital? Am I doing something wrong? Is that a contraction? Where are the contractions?" Even more, to be that far past my due date, most people at my work started asking me daily, "Why are you still here? When is your doctor just going to induce you? Is it healthy for her still to be in there?"

All these thoughts and comments started driving me insane! But luckily my midwife was very calming and reassuring and she said the longer Avery is in there the more grey brain matter she's building. And that she'll come out eventually, they always do! Her cut off for taking more active modes of stimulating labor would wait until 2 weeks after my due date. But on day 11, labor began and Avery was born that night. This was such an amazing lesson to me because despite all my worrying and stressing, my body knew what it was doing and I gave birth to a healthy baby girl.

Here's a quote that really helped me get through that waiting period, so if any other moms are out there waiting for a baby to make his or her appearance as well, use this quote, it's my favorite:

"Slow down, 

calm down, 

don't worry, 

don't hurry, 

trust the process."

-Alexandra Stoddard

7. For transformational effect it's had on my life. When I first decided I wanted to have a homebirth, I knew it would be special but I had no idea what a lasting effect it would have on me. Truthfully it's taken me a few years to really come to terms with just how proud of myself I actually am for what I did. I have moments where I'm like, "Wow, I really did that? I had two babies at home without drugs? Are you sure?" These moments give me strength when I'm doubting myself and what I'm capable of doing or my self-worth. They remind me that I am stronger than I know.

But those aren't the only lessons I learned from my birth. Another lesson I learned was how it was okay to let someone help me. During Avery's birth I was scared, I didn't know what to expect, how long it would last, or if I really could do this whole "home birth thing". I was so convinced I had to tackle it on my own so I actually sent Brandon down to make lasagna (of all things) while I was in labor and just a few hours away from giving birth. Nice one mama!

And although I ended up accepting help from him later in the birth, I never really came to peace with the process of birth and instead I just wanted to rush through it and get it done.  So when Mila's birth came around I knew things had to be different. This time, without much thought on my part I found myself wanting to be with Brandon. It began as me just holding onto him during contractions. And from there I actually started kissing him during the contractions, a tip I learned from good ol' Ina May Gaskin, that was really helpful! It gave me something to do during the painful part of the contraction and even more, it helped me let my guard down and allow someone to support and help me. It's sounds boring and basic here when I type it but it made for really special moments between us that I will never forget. Granted it makes us blush a little when we tell it, but what better way to bring a baby into the world than in a room full of love right? ( :

I truly think this experience has brought us closer as a couple and I'm so thankful for it.

8. For the babies- No list would be complete without some benefit being mentioned for the babies.  My favorite part was that right after birth my girls were not rushed away from me to be cleaned, weighed, clothed, and swaddled. Avery's post-birth moments were truly my favorite of all time because she didn't even cry when she was born. She simply came up out of the water, and was placed on my chest. She just looked up at Brandon and I with the most innocent little eyes as to say, "Hi Mom and Dad."  We melted and fell in love instantly.  

Shortly after Avery was born.

I'd like to think Mila's was just as special, which it was, but she had her first bowel movement in a matter of seconds after being placed on my chest so it was a bit messier! 

Unlike at the hospital, things move slower in a homebirth. Obviously my midwife still checks the baby and me immediately after birth to make sure we are okay, but after that we wait to cut the cord until it stops pulsing and we don't even weigh her for a good half hour or so. These are some of my favorite pictures of Brandon because Lisa always allowed him to be the one to weigh the babies. 

Beyond that immediate post-birth period, I loved that my postpartum days were spent at home. I can't imagine not being at home, probably because I never experienced it at the hospital, but I just love that I was able to be in my bed with my blankets, my clothes, and my bathroom. For me the transition of having a baby is hard enough to come to grips with,  it just adds to it for me to not be in my normal location and with my some-what normal routine.

With Mila the day after birth.

Brandon with Mila getting some skin-to-skin time the day after she was born
in our bed.

Even more enjoyable the second time around was the fact that Avery got to meet Mila much sooner than at a hospital. Granted she did not take part in Mila's birth. Instead my mom came over when I went into labor and watched her the whole time as I was giving birth to Mila. Avery is kind of my freak-out girl and I didn't think that having her see me in pain would be helpful. Instead I think she would start to cry and worry about me. So instead we had her come in the next morning (Mila was born at night after Avery was already asleep) and that's when she got to meet Mila. I just loved how she just walked down the hallway from her room to our's and...surprise! You have a little sister now. That's one of my favorite video clips as you can see in the video is when she got to meet her for the first time. 

Meeting Mila.

With Mila the day after birth. 

So there you have it, the top reasons why I chose to have a homebirth with a midwife. If you have had a homebirth or used a midwife, share your experiences below. Or if you have any questions, post them there too!

Next »

Placenta Encapsulation: How & Why I Did It

Guess what? I ate my placenta after Mila was born! Now before I lose you completely, know that I did not eat my placenta for dinner or even blend in a smoothie, instead I dried it and took it daily in capsule form.

This practice is called, placenta encapsulation...or in other words, putting your placenta into pill form and taking it like a supplement in the weeks following birth. Now you may be thinking, why on earth would you want to do that? And the answer is that it helps immensely with the postpartum recovery, both for moms and babies.

WARNING: Graphic pictures of my placenta below. Scroll quickly past if you don't want to see!

Consuming a placenta following birth has been found to:

• Help prevent postpartum depression
• Increase energy
• Help the uterus return to it's pre-pregnancy state quicker
• Helps shorten postpartum bleeding time
• Increase breast milk production
• And it is high in iron and other B vitamins 

The placenta is an organ that grows during pregnancy and helps to support the baby. During delivery, the baby is born first, and the placenta follows. In most hospitals and even some home births, the placenta is then discarded and thrown out. But with placenta encapsulation, the placenta is saved. A number of steps are then taken to turn the placenta into pill form (which I will show later) and then these pills are taken daily after birth to support moms and babies during the postpartum period.

Here's what my placenta looks like as we prepared it
to be encapsulated.

According to Jodi Selander, founder of PBi states in the article, "The Care and Keeping of Placentas": "The placenta, grown in her (the mother's) womb and symbiotically integrated into her system, can replenish and revitalize her, giving her the energy and resources she needs for the most importance endurance challenge of her life: motherhood."

Like most moms, I can attest to the term "endurance challenge" that comes with becoming a mother. After I gave birth to Avery I remember going through several "weepy days" as  would call them, where I would cry for no reason at all. I thought I was just having a difficult time transitioning to my life as a parent, but really I think my body and hormones were struggling to make sense of my new life...and the result was weepy tears. After a few weeks, these feelings went away and things got better. But I had to wonder if it would have made a difference if I had encapsulated my placenta.

I heard about placenta encapsulation during my first pregnancy, but it sounded a bit "too hippy like for me," so when Avery was born, we looked at the placenta and then it was just thrown out.

Fast forward 2 years later to when I found out I was pregnant with Mila. I knew that this time I would  give this whole "placenta pill thing" a try to see if I could reduce the amount of "weepy days" I had and to see if I noticed any other benefits during the postpartum period.  So when the delivery day came, out came Mila and then my placenta. We allowed it to remain attached for awhile, and then we "cut the cord" and placed the placenta in a Ziploc bag in our fridge.

Here's a step-by-step guide of how and why I encapsulated my placenta:


Here's how we encapsulated my placenta: (I say we, because it was mainly my midwife (Lisa from Awakened Birthing) who helped me do it...oh and my husband too, he defiantly needs a round of applause for helping with this one-lol!),

1. First we washed the plactena and squeezed the extra blood
out of the blood vessels.

2. This is about what it looks like when you're done.

3. Then we blended it in my blender until it was smooth.
Hello, box of Larabars in the background...
talk about a post-delivery craving!

4. Next we spread the "placenta mixture" as thin as we could
on special dehydrator baking sheets (Excalibur brand),
but parchment or waxed paper would have also worked.

5. Then we placed the trays in the dehydrator at 105 degrees
for 8-12 hours.

6. We knew they were done when they were thin and crispy
kind of like a chip.

7. We then broke up them up and placed them into a coffee
grinder.

Here they are getting ready to be ground up.

8. After being ground in the coffee grinder they were in a
powder form and ready to be made into capusles.

9. Using something called a "Capsule Machine" we placed
empty vegetarian capsules on one side of the machine and cooresponding
capsules on the other side of the machine. We then filled them with
the "placenta powder".

10. Next we placed the lid on the machine to create the capsules.

Here's the end result: placenta capsules, or "placenta pills" as
I call them. My batch made about 120 pills, but this amount
can vary depending on the size of your placenta.

Storage: To store my pills, I kept them in a Pyrex container in the freezer.  Mainly just in case there happened to be any moisture in the pills after dehydrating (which would be rare), they wouldn't go bad.

Dosage: So now that you saw how I made the pills, here's how I took them. Basically I took 4 pills daily, 2 with breakfast and 2 with dinner. The pills lasted me about a month. I read online that some people may experience a bloody-like taste in their mouth after they take the pills, so to avoid this I took them with food and didn't really notice any after-taste. Also, the dosage is up to you, some moms start with a larger dose and slowly wean off of the pills. I just went with the 4 pills each day, for the whole time and it seemed to work for me. You can do whatever works for you.

Some women even save some of their pills to help when their periods return, when they have to go back to work, and some even keep them until menopause. Obviously you would want to keep them frozen if you are saving them for these extended periods of time.

After encapsulating my placenta this time around some benefits I noticed were:

1. Better mood- If I can attest anything about placenta encapsulation, it's the change it made in my mood during the postpartum period. I had one weepy day, when my milk came in, which was on the 2 or 3rd day after labor. But that was the day before I started my placenta pills. After that, I felt much better mentally. Granted life for those first few weeks wasn't a walk in the park, I still had my fair share of tears now and then, but during those times I at least had something to cry about (my house being a mess and no time to clean it or a toddler screaming at me for attention).  Where as with Avery's post-partum there were times when I would cry for no reason.
2. Increase milk production- Granted I'm tandem breastfeeding, but a lacking milk supply has not been my problem at all. In fact I practically have too much milk. It took me a while to realize I needed to change up my positioning of Mila to allow her to pull off if needed when my milk let down because there was just so much! So if you've ever struggled with a low milk supply, placenta encapsulation may be helpful for you if get pregnant again.
3. More energy-I remember reading about women going on cleaning sprees after they started their placenta pills and I can relate to this as well. The night I started my pills, I went on a little cleaning kick and boy did it feel good. On top of this I was able to return to a workout routine (gently) just a week after Mila was born, and have been able to keep it up since then. 
4. As for the other benefits:
• Faster recovery? Seemed about the same as Avery. I had postpartum bleeding for about 4 weeks with both pregnancies
• Uterus shrinking back faster? Actually seems slower, but it could be because it's been stretched out more? Not sure, but better than nothing. 

A few things to mention:

• I kept my placenta as raw as possible, others cook the placenta then consume it (in the Traditional Chinese Medicine approach). I believe most of the nutrients are kept intact when in this raw state as opposed to being lost during the cooking/steaming process, so the raw method is the one I chose.
• No other herbs were added to my placenta pills. Sometimes herbs are added to aid in the recovery process or support milk production, but I left these out. My midwife noted that the trouble with adding a variety of herbs is that if a bad reaction to the pills occurs, it's hard to know which herb is to blame, so then the whole batch is bad.
• To do placenta encapsulation, you do not have to do it yourself. There are often midwives, herbalists, or other individuals in your community that can encapsulate the placenta for you, for a fee of probably $150-200. Just a simple Google search should turn up some options and individuals if this is something you are interested in doing (but don't want your blender used for blending up your placenta!). 
• The same goes for if you've had a hospital birth. You can still bring your placenta home with you . Some hospitals will let you keep it in a fridge until leaving, or you can bring your own cooler and keep it in there until you get home or give it to the person who will be encapsulating your placenta for you.

Well that wraps up probably the most graphic and hippy-like post I've ever written! What is your experience with placenta encapsulation? Sound like something you might try? Or have you tried it before? Share your experiences or any questions you may have below.

My advice to any expecting moms out there is to give placenta encapsulation a try...no matter how weird it may seem.  If someone told you there was a natural pill that could help prevent the baby blues, increase your energy, increase milk production, speed up the healing process, and give your body boost of much needed vitamins and minerals, you would be crazy not to take it right? So now's your chance! Give placenta encapsulation a try. Your body, your baby and your husband (trust me) will thank you.

Next »

Mila's Birth Story

Well greenies, it's time for me to share my birth story for Baby Mila! It all started on a Monday morning, after a 3-day weekend from my teaching job. I woke up, worked out, and headed to school fully prepared to be greeted by my co-workers asking, "Are you still here?" since my due date was Sunday. Sure enough when I got to work, I told everyone, "I'm fine, I'm fine...Mila must just be happy in there...Avery was 11 days late you know!" But after a while I started to feel a little "different". As I went about getting things ready for the day and last minutes tasks crossed off my "maternity leave checklist" I started getting some cramps, kind of like period cramps. I figured I would eat something and see if the went away.

Let me tell you how I met Mila!

Wrong, they just turned into mild contractions. I figured the were just Braxton-Hicks, which I had been having more of in the last few days, but usually those will go on for an hour or so and stop, but these contractions were still going strong by lunchtime. When I talked to Brandon at lunch and told him about the contractions, he asked what the count was that our midwife said to look for as being a sign that I was in labor, but I could not remember. I told him I would text her and then let him know later in the day how things were going.

So, I text her, found out that if my contractions get to about consistently 6 minutes apart I probably want to be at home (since I was having a home birth).  I had yet to time my contractions that day, because I was still convinced it wasn't the real thing, mainly because my water hadn't broke, I hadn't lost my mucus plug, and the contractions, while mildly uncomfortable, weren't "stop what you're doing and lean up against something" kind of contractions.

So with the help of my para in my room (aka my "school mom" as I call her) we started timing the contractions. The results? They were about 3-4 minutes when I was sitting down and 2 minutes or so apart when I was up and walking around. Still convinced it wasn't the real thing, we continued timing and tracking for about an hour and a half. I kept saying, "Well, let me get through circle time and then we'll see how I'm doing, or let me get through recess and then we'll check."

The "contraction count" kept by my
para...they were clearly pretty close
together!

Finally, they started to get a bit uncomfortable and at a fairly steady 2 minute apart rate, I agreed with her that it was probably time to head home, at least to rest. So I let Brandon, my midwife, and my mom (whose job it was to look after Avery during the birth) all know that I was heading home, whether to rest or to have a baby I had no idea.

When I got home, I headed right up to bed to lay down and listen to my favorite Gentle Surge relaxation track, which you may have remembered me practicing in this post. I figured I would lay there, the contractions would slow down and then we would see what happened.

Well, like the rest of the day had gone, the contractions slowed down a bit, since I was literally just laying there, but they were stronger this time and it didn't take long for them to pick back up.

By that time Brandon got home and I starting to shift into the mindset that I was in labor. As you can tell by most of the morning, I was in a bit of denial about the start of labor. I guess I just never felt completely ready like I did with Avery's, maybe that's because I waited 11 days after her due date for her to arrive, or because I felt like I actually had a chance to get everything crossed off my to-do list before she arrived. But things were different this time around, life was clearly much busier for me, and every day that went by, I still had more to cross off my list before I could officially, "be ready". But in that moment, I knew, now was the time...Mila was on her way!

By now it was about 4:00 and this is when time starts to all blur together. To get through my contractions at this point, I practiced realxing my entire body during the hardest part of the contraction.  This plan lasted about 15 minutes, until the pain started to get so uncomfortable that I knew I needed another plan. Enter plan B: during the hardest part of the contraction, I would exhale out strongly. To me, this felt good, it gave me something productive to do when the contraction came and I knew the extra deep breathing was helpful for my body and my baby.

Here I am in labor with my Earthing mat, iPod and
headphones, a cloth napkin covering my eyes, and
my shirt pulled up (I didn't want anything touching my
belly). 

By that point, Brandon joined me in bed and was timing the contractions. I asked him to try pushing on my lower back during the contraction, so we did that for awhile. Then I found myself pushing on  the headboard of our bed during the contraction, so I figured, why not push on Brandon? So we repositioned and I began pushing/hugging him. I guess in a way it felt kind of like I was giving my contraction away to him. So I'd grab on to his arms and shoulders as the contractions came, and relax when they stopped. At this time we moved my iPod from being headphones to playing on speakers so I could hear it, and just with Avery's birth I put the Gentle Surge Track # 2 on repeat and this stayed on the entire time I was in labor.

Now holding on tightly to Brandon worked well for a while. I enjoyed being close to him and it was nice to feel like I didn't have to do this whole labor thing all by myself. But then things started to get more uncomfortable and in a moment of desperation, I tried something I had read about a few weeks earlier from a midwife-idol of mine, Ina May Gaskin...we tried kissing through a contraction! And I'm not talking about a peck, or just pushing our lips together, I mean straight up making out.

The craziest part of it all...it worked! It helped me make it through the contractions! By no means did it make the contractions painless, but it did help me manage them. Maybe it was because it gave me something productive to do every time they came that didn't involve holding my breath, tensing every muscle of my body, screaming loudly, or feeling literally scared out of my mind (all options I probably would have chosen if not for the kissing). Better yet, I didn't feel alone. I didn't feel like I had to take the work and weight of the labor by myself, I felt like Brandon and I were going through it together, and because of that I knew I could do it.

Here we are a few months back celebrating
our 6 year wedding anniversary.
I sure love this guy, 

With Avery's birth, I felt like I had to do it by myself, as if it was my battle to conquer, my mission to succeed in. Heck, I even sent him downstairs while I was in labor to cook lasagna for dinner, why, I have no idea? It was my choice not his. We still joke about it to this day. Later in Avery's birth, he helped comfort me during contractions from outside the birth tub, but this time with Mila's labor it was different, I felt drawn to him, like I needed him, and for once in my life I let him help me (not something I'm usually good at).

So the for the next 2 or 3 hours, that's what we did. When a contraction came, I pulled him close to me and we kissed through it. When it ended I relaxed, caught my breath, and tried to rest. During this time, I went from the bed to the toilet, and usually back to the bed again. The contractions were continuing to increase in strength and soon my midwife arrived. I remember telling her when she got there, "Ummm Lisa...we've been kissing through the contractions just so you know!" Her response..."Great, whatever works for you!" And so we continued. I'm pretty sure that there's no way I would have felt comfortable doing this if anyone else was there or if we were in any other place.

In her book, Birth Matters: A Midwife's Manifesta, Ina May Gaskin writes,

"When you kiss during labor, blood rushes from the thinking part of the brain, the neocortex, to the vaginal tissues which causes swelling that enlarges the vaginal opening enough to make painless penetration possible."

She goes on to state that kissing during labor also allows oxytocin and beta levels to soar.  Now while, I wouldn't exactly say that my labor was painless, I'd like to think that kissing helped dilate my cervix and shift my focus from my mind to well, you know where.

She explains it more in this video as well...



As she described in the video, the kissing can be helpful in allowing the mother to relax, instead of being tight, tense, and scared. I definently relate to this feeling in how kissing Brandon made me feel less scared, more relaxed, and just in love. I guess the frame above our bed says it all...

Here is the bed where our bed where I spent most of my
time in labor...obviously this picture was taken during the day
because during labor it was dim lights only!

As I progressed further into labor I began "transitioning" something I remember all to well from Avery's birth, and the one way that I knew this was because my legs began to shake, kind of like I felt cold and was shivering, even though I wasn't. The tricky part at this point was finding a position where I was comfortable and my legs wouldn't shake. I felt a strong urge to be on my hands and knees, squatting, or sitting on the toilet, but those were all positions that were becoming a bit tiring for my arms and legs. So we tried a new position in the bed, in a semi-reclined sitting position where Brandon was sitting up and I was leaned/reclined up to him. In this position I was able to let my arms and legs rest completely and focus solely on each contraction. Unfortunately with this new position, I was unable to keep kissing Brandon (bummer!) but by that point the contractions were quite a bit more painful and I found it harder to kiss Brandon, and instead found myself trying to breathe during the contraction.

So my new contraction plan became to make low vocal sounds as I exhaled during the contraction. This is something my midwife taught me during Avery's labor and that we called upon again this time, mainly because this sound is more helpful in focusing on pushing the baby down, compared to high sounds like "Ahhhh!". So as the contraction came, Brandon lightly placed his hands on my chest (which helped me focus on where I should be vocalizing from) and I would moan/yell in a low vocal sound by saying the word, "Ohhhhhhhhh" as I exhaled and holding it as long as I could. Then the contraction would stop, I would catch my breath, rest, and then the process would repeat. It's all a bit fuzzy, but I believe that as I was saying this, "Ohhh" sound I was also starting to push, but I'm not sure.

After a while of doing this, my water broke (all over my bed...that was luckily covered with multiple towels and plastic sheets!) and that's when things really started to pick up.  I felt a great sense of release once it broke and after my midwife checked me she said Mila had moved down substantially and would probably be born very soon. This is the light at the end of the tunnel that I needed to see to help get me through the last and probably toughest part of labor. Nothing is more motivating than knowing the end is near, right?!

So at this point I moved into a squatting/kneeling position and began pushing. Now these pushes were completely self-led, meaning no one was telling me, "Push, push push!" Instead it was all me, when I felt ready during a contraction, I pushed as much as I could, and when the contraction was over, I stopped, caught my breath, rested, and prepared mentally for the next one.

After several of these pushes, Mila's head was visible and crowning...the end was near. I then repositioned onto my hands and knees, so there would be more room for her to come out once she was born, and I continued my pushing during the contractions until her head was completely out. Next, it was time to push out the rest of her body. This is the part of labor that I had so been preparing for mentally, because it was obviously the hardest and most painful part, and the part I needed to draw forth the most focus. I tore quite a bit during Avery's labor at this point because I was so ready for the pain to be over and to have my baby in my arms, but for this labor, I was determined to do it differently. So with the help of my midwife, she instructed me to do "a little push" and then "a little breath"when I was ready, so that's what I did..little push, little breath, little push, little breath, as I slowly, and gradually pushed the rest of her body out.

I won't lie, this was clearly the most painful part, and I can remember feeling that at one of the little pushes an overwhelming urge to vomit, luckily I didn't and within a few seconds, Mila was out! Our little girl was born. Official time check was 9:39 PM.  It's seriously insane how the second she was born, the pain stopped.  Or at least if it continued I didn't care one bit about it because my baby was in my arms. Right after she was born, I sat down on the bed, and held her in my arms. And in a warm and welcoming fashion, she had her first bowel movement all over me...lovely, right? But I couldn't have cared less! I remember looking at her and thinking, "Wow, she looks a lot like Avery did when she was born."

Our first...and a little blurry, family picture.

At that point, sat back in the bed, and she was placed, skin to skin, on my chest while my midwife did some checks on her. All looked well, and shortly after, she began to crawl towards my chest, and after a few minutes she latched on and began nursing. Her umblical cord was still intact and pulsing, so it was left in tact for the time being. Meanwhile, I continued to have mild contractions as I prepared to birth the placenta. Maybe about 15-20 minutes later, and in one final push, the placenta came out.  It was then saved and placed in a Ziploc bag, and placed in my fridge so it could be  encapsulated in the days to come (something you can look for to post about in a few weeks).

During this time my midwife also checked me to see if I tore or was in need of stitches, and even though I did still tear this time around, it was minor in comparison to last time and I only needed a couple stitches. Yeah!  After letting Mila nurse for a while, we then weighed and measured her, and then it was back to bed with Mom and Dad.

My midwife helped get everything cleaned up, and then she headed home as well. As you can tell, by having a home birth we skipped several routine newborn procedures that are usually done at a hospital, such as Erythromycin eye drops, a Vitamin K shot, a Hep B vaccine, and she was not given a bath (we like to leave the protective vernix on her skin on for at least a day or two).

In case you're wondering where Big Sister Avery was at during all of this, she was with my mom, a plan we had arranged earlier in the pregnancy. I knew I wanted her to be home so she could see Mila shortly after she was born, but I didn't feel complelty comfortable with her in the room while I was in labor. I wasn't sure how she would react to me being in pain, or how I would react to her seeing me like that...so instead she played, watched her favorite movie, ate dinner, and eventually went to bed all with the help of my mom. So, when Mila was born around 9:30 PM, Avery was already long gone to bed. So instead of waking her, we soaked up our first night with Mila by ourselves and then had Avery meet Mila when she woke up the next morning.

A very proud Big Sister!

Here she is several days later, still pretty smitten with her
new little sister.

So there you have it, my birth story of Baby Mila. One reflection I have on this birth is how connected I felt to Brandon this time around...obviously making out with him for most of the birth kind of helps with that! Or perhaps it reflects a change that has occurred in me since Avery was born, specifically the part of me that's willing to accept help from others. Maybe you can relate to this or maybe not, but for a long time I relied only on myself to get things done, but after having Avery I learned this was impossible. Most importantly, I learned that the person I needed to rely on most was the one who I got into this whole little thing I call "life" with... my husband.

Going through labor with him like this truly made for an amazing experience that I will never forget for as long as I live. I like to think that we've had our fair share of exciting moments, from sky diving to zip lining, but this one takes the cake. Granted, Mila will probably blush in embarrassment when she's a teenager and she finds out that I made out with her Dad while I was in labor with, but if anything, I hope she learns that labor and birth are powerful experiences that can shape her and the relationship she has with her partner for years to come. For me, labor and birth taught me that the love I have with Brandon, keeps me going when times get tough, and gives me the strength to do anything I put my mind to. So for that I thank and love you Brandon! (  :

Okay, so now that taken this birth story to novel status, I'll wrap up here. Thanks for reading along and for all your support this pregnancy. Here's to more posts to come from this green family...

I'm sure it won't be long before Mila will make her way into
many more posts and videos!

Next »

21 Weeks

As you can tell, I was in the mood for some  PINK in this week's belly shot in honor of the gender reveal we had this past week, see below for more about that!

This week's photo background: Now I had a very meaningful photo location last week, but this week's spot is pretty uneventful.  Truly, I just loved the cool grey color of this grey wall and I knew it would be a nice, neutral color for me to show the gender "color" of the baby.

Actual location is a Furniture Deals store here in Kansas City, nothing really too significant there. But it is a funny coincidence because if you look really close under the "F" in the sign you can see my name, "Ashley" obviously referring to Ashley Furniture, guess it was just meant to be!

Questions of the week:

1. How big is the baby (with Avery's help)?

Talk about one interesting fruit! Avery has maybe tried pomegranates once or twice, but not lately, so when I handed it to her (after striking her new "smile pose") she thought it was a ball and gladly threw it across the yard!

Checking out the size in relation to my belly.

The next day we cut it open and she chowed down on the pomegranate seeds! Not exactly my favorite fruit, but she loved how small and bite-size they were.

"Yup, I love them!"

2. What I'm eating...

I saw fresh, organic corn at my local health food store last week and nearly sprinted over to get it! I love corn on the cob, and apparently Baby Mila does too, as I've eaten a ton of it this week! My favorite way to eat it is with Earth Balance vegan butter and garlic salt. What do you put on your corn on the cob? Talk about a summer classic, especially when you're pregnant...just make sure it's organic (nobody wants GMO corn!).

Just looking at this picture makes me want an ear of it
right now!

3. Anything new this week?  I started swapping out some of my workout DVDs for "prenatal workout DVDs" this past week and I remembered just how much I love prenatal workouts! I feel like I lasted longer with my pre-pregnancy DVDs during Avery's pregnancy, but since my belly has grown bigger and faster this time around, it's only fitting that I start my prenatal DVDs a little sooner.

After doing one of them for the first time since I was pregnant with Avery, I fell in love over again.  It was kind of funny how it brought back memories of Avery's pregnancy too.  To me, finding the perfect prenatal DVD is like a perfect pair of prenatal jeans, it feels so right and you don't have to modify anything....like it was made just for you and you're rapidly growing belly! It got a little annoying to constantly having to be modifying my pre-pregnancy workout DVDs to accommodate for my growing belly, so to bring back the ones that "cater" to the belly and that even help stregthen it were so worth it!

In case you're wondering, I work out for 45 minutes to one hour each day and I rotate three types of workouts:
Day 1: Pilates
Day 2: Yoga
Day 3: 1 hour of walking on the treadmill or outside
Day 4: Repeat....Pilates, Yoga, Walking (or sometimes I switch them up)

You can read more about my "Prenatal Workouts" in this post from Avery's pregnancy, and you may notice I used to workout an hour and a half, but now there's no way I have time for that now since Avery's here. I am pretty content with the 45 minutes to an hour routine that I've got and I feel like it gives me the full workout I need to keep my body and my baby healthy.  Here's my two favorite prenatal workout DVDs that are mentioned in that post.

1. 10 Minute Solutions Prenatal Pilates: One challenging and yet still gentle, pilates workout. I love that I still get to do"ab" workouts in this one, with the support of a pillow, of course.



2. The Divine Mother Prenatal Yoga Series with Anna Getty (sorry no video preview, but one awesome  Kundulini-style yoga workout).

Do you have a favorite prenatal workout DVD? Share it below!

4. Best moment of the week: Finding out that we're having a GIRL at our gender reveal party! Finding out your baby's gender is such an exciting moment of any pregnancy, and we were all so thrilled to finally know that Baby #2 was a girl. More power to you mamas that wait till the end...it would drive my "inner-planner" crazy if I had to wait that long!

Seeing pink balloons!

Now that we know it's a girl, and what we're naming her, it's been great for Avery. She talks to Mila, tells her "hi", says, "I love you Mila", and gives her many, many kisses. She proudly introduces her now and talks about all the ways she will take care of her, or so she say's she will, when she is born.  She also plans out all the adventures they will have and runs through a variety of scenarios daily such as this one:

Avery: "Mila needs a highchair."
Me: "Yes, Mila will need a high chair when she's older."
Avery: "Mila say, 'Wah wah', I want out of my high chair!' I say, "No no Mila, you have to eat your dinner!"

What would we do without you Avery? ( :

For me, finding out the gender not only helps me visualize what my life will be like when Baby Mila is born, but also let's me start planning the nursery, a task my mom and I love to do!  Since we are both on summer vacation from our teaching jobs, we've had lots of free time to plan paint colors, room arrangements, and other decor ideas. Look a post to come in the next few days with some of my nursery ideas!

Favorite Moment of the Week #2: Midwife Visit!  Another fun thing we did this week was have a visit from our awesome midwife, Lisa.  Aside from hearing Baby Mila's heartbeat and checking my blood pressure, I spent a good deal of time talking with her about our birth plans (here at home again) and where we would have it (in our bedroom). One of the best parts about prenatal visits this time around is that Avery gets to be involved. Here she is helping Lisa check the heartbeat with an instrument called a Doppler.

Listening to Baby Mila's heartbeat, you can see she was
hanging out pretty low in my left side here.

Since getting a doctor's kit for her birthday, Avery loves to pretend to take care of me and the baby (and  all of her stuffed animals too).  She loves to pretend to be the midwife and check the heartbeat and my blood pressure, all of which get the same reply..."Lookin' good!"

You can bet the pretend play that comes from these
midwife vists, goes on for several days with Avery!

Having Avery involved in all of my prenatal visits, which take place at our home, is one of the many reasons why we choose to use a midwife and we plan to have a home birth. You can read more about my other reasons in my post, "The Top 5 Reasons I'm Having a Homebirth with a Midwife". A few other reasons include:

1. Less stress (for me, doctors and hospitals freak me out!)
2. More choices (what to wear, what to eat, what to listen to, location to birth...all our up to me)
3. Having my choices honored (it's one thing to say I want to birth in the water, but knowing my midwife will honor that choice instead of throwing my "birhting plan" out the window)
4. Safer (less germs, diseases, toxic cleaners, etc. here in my home)
5. Avoiding the "cascade of interventions" that typically take place at a hospital (Pitocin, epidural, c-section).

As I state in the post mentioned above, a homebirth with a midwife is right for me, but not for everyone. Some people are more comfortable at a hospital or have more high-risk prengancies, in that case, a hopsital birth is probably just right for you. When it comes to pregnancy, labor, and birth you have to do what's right for you and your baby...whatever that may be, wherever that may. This is just one option that what works for me.

See you in two weeks for the next update!

Recently this post was linked up to "Tuesday Baby Link Up" over at the blog I Thought I Knew Mama, as well as a number of other blogs that are listed in the link above. So hop on over and check out some other fun baby posts!

Next »